It's Me.

Maybe I'm not the best film director in the land but I have a lot of fun with, http://www.microsoft.com/windowsxp/using/digitalphotography/PhotoStory/default.mspx You can even add sound, so, sound on.

Bothwell Castle is Scotland's finest 13th-century castle to be found at Uddingston. Craignethan dates back to 1530, 5 miles from Lanark.

New Lanark, Scotland. A World Heritage site. The cotton mill owners provided fair wages, free health care and the first nursery school in the world 200 years ago.

Another Irish Joke
Mick, from Dublin , appeared on 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' and towards the end of the program had already won 500,000 pounds.
'You've done very well so far,' said, Chris Tarrant, the show's presenter, 'but for a million pounds you've only got one life-line left - phone a friend. Everything is riding on this question......will you go for it?'

'Sure,' said Mick. 'I'll have a go!'

'Which of the following birds does NOT build its own nest? -
a) Sparrow, b) Thrush, c) Magpie, d) Cuckoo?'

'I haven't got a clue,' said Mick,''so I'll use me last lifeline and phone me friend Paddy back home in Dublin .'

Mick called up his mate, and told him the circumstances and repeated the question to him.

'Fookin hell, Mick!' cried Paddy.

'Dat's simple.......it's a cuckoo.'

'Are you sure?'

'I'm fookin sure..'

Mick hung up the phone and told Chris, 'I'll go wit Cuckoo as me answer.'

'Is that your final answer?' asked Chris
'Dat it is, Sir.'

There was a long, long pause, and then the presenter screamed,
'Cuckoo is the correct answer! Mick, you've won 1 million pounds!'

The next night, Mick invited Paddy to their local pub to buy him a drink.

'Tell me, Paddy? How in Heaven's name did you know it was da Cuckoo that doesn't build its own nest?'

'Because he lives in a Fookin clock!!

I spend my mornings doing house-work, not because I want to, but, I think that it's the right thing to do. Whilst dusting, washing up, ironing, etc, I listen to the radio, radio 5 live, Victoria Derbyshire, a phone-in show. I have never phoned in, but, I continually shout at the fools that do with their stupid comments. Yesterday was different and I have been unable to get it out of my mind.

There was a gentleman that phoned in and he told his story.

Many years ago, for some reason he seperated from his wife, they had two small children, girls ages about 7 and 4 years. He was granted visitation rights by the court for every other Saturday. Every Saturday that he arrived at the house it was empty, the mother and children were not at home.

It was many years later that he found out that the mother did take the children out on the days when the father was due to visit, but, on the Saturdays that he was not due she would dress the two girls with their coats on and sit them on the bottom of the stairs waiting for him to visit.

Of course, the girls were very disappointed and the mother told them that their father just didn't want to see them.

Now you understand why I ask the title of this post.

Very interesting, looking at the statistics for my blog and especially the list of "Keywords". One keyword has had 1,356 hits, now, that appears to me to be a lot.

That "keyword" was, "track your partner".

Half of a great many couples are, at least, a little suspicious.

PS. If you haven't seen the website, and you wish to, http://www.track-your-partner.com/

WALLFLOWERS.

Sitting in the wet earth in my garden there are 65 wallflower plants, strong little plants that will be covered with snow before they light up the Spring with their various colours and the beautiful fragrance that greets the passer by.

The picture does not do them justice, even a video can only show the colours and flowers gently moving, if only we could capture the scent.

Actually there are another eight, they are the special ones that have been flowering twice each year since spring 2003. They have purple flowers, and my wife and I bought them in November 2002. There were 18 of them then.

Sarah knew that she would never live to see them flower or to smell that fragrance, but we planted them together.

Spring, and with a bit of tender pruning, also Autumn, re-open those memories of special days.

As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became
Aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to
Come up to the height of the first step of the bus.

Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus
Driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little,
Thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg
She tried to take the step, only to discover that she couldn't.

So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached
Behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the
Second time attempted the step.

Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg
With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind
To unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step.

About this time, a large Texan who was standing
Behind her picked her up easily by the waist
And placed her gently on the step of the bus.

She went ballistic and turned to the
Would-be Samaritan
And yelled,
'How dare you touch my body!
I don't even know who you are!'

The Texan smiled and drawled,
'Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you,

But after you unzipped my fly three times,
I kinda figured we was friends.'

Another year has passed
and we're all a little older.
Last summer felt hotter
and winter seems much colder.

There was a time not long ago
when life was quite a blast.
Now I fully understand
about 'Living in the Past'

We used to go to weddings,
football games and lunches.
Now we go to funeral homes,
and after-funeral brunches.

We used to have hangovers,
from parties that were gay.
Now we suffer body aches
and wile the night away.

We used to go out dining,
and couldn't get our fill.
Now we ask for doggie bags,
come home and take a pill.

We used to often travel
to places near and far.
Now we get sore asses
from riding in the car.

We used to go to nightclubs
and drink a little booze.
Now we stay home at night
and watch the evening news.

That, my friend is how life is,
and now my tale is told.

So, enjoy each day and live it up...
before you're too damned old!

A girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mommy,
Mommy, she yelled, "We were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10!"

"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde?" the girl asked.
"Yes, it's because you're blonde."

The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy,"
she yelled, "We were saying the alphabet today, and all the
other kids said up to D, but I said it up to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, It's because you're blonde."

The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mommy, Mommy!" she yelled, "We were in gym class today, and when we were showering, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" She lifted up her tank top to reveal a pair of 36 C's.
"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"No, Honey, Its because you're 27."

"Anyone with needs to be prayed over, come forward, to the front at the altar," the Preacher says.

Leroy gets in line, and when it's his turn, the preacher asks: "Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you."

Leroy replies: "Preacher, I need you to pray for my hearing."

The preacher puts one finger in Leroy's ear, and he places the other hand on top of Leroy's head and prays and prays and prays, he prays a blue streak for Leroy.

After a few minutes, the Preacher removes his hands, stands back and asks, "Leroy, how is your hearing now?"

Leroy says, "I don't know, Reverend, it ain't til next Wednesday!"

A young fellow had just gotten his Driver's Permit.

He asked his father if they could discuss his use of the car.

His father said he'd make a deal with his son. "You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, get your hair cut and we'll talk about the car."

The son thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer, and they agreed on it.

After about six weeks his father said, "Son, I've been real proud. You brought your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm real disappointed that you didn't get your hair cut."

The young man paused a moment, then said: "You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair, and there's even a strong argument that Jesus had long hair.

To this his father replied, "Did you also notice that they all walked everywhere they went?"