I have just discovered a new species of garden pest, I haven't seen it yet, but I know that it is there.

Over night a wee hole has appeared in my hosta, now I know that my defences are good, no slimy slug could beat them, but, Bangelei has. A new war commences, where are Blair and Bush when you really need them?.

I now have in my garden a pest that can overcome the "beer trap", well it's not actually beer as I only drink champagne, so that's what I put in it, never found any drowned slugs but I am woken every morning to the birds singing Nellie Dean.

Exactly twelve inches from the centre of the hosta I have a trench, 1 inch deep and 2 inches wide filled with beautifully coloured pellets and that means that two or three slugs must die to allow the others to cross over on their dead body's. Slugs are just like all of us, none volunteer to die for the cause.

The third line of defence is Fred and he comes in to the garden every night at about 11.45pm, if it's the sort of day when you don't expect slugs I leave him some cat food and this, hopefully will encourage him to come every night. I don't care what farmers say, I like foxes.

Bangelei will also be known as The Hosta Leaf Fly as it's certain that it never crosses the ground or it would DIE.

This is my very lovely Rhododendron.