The Dams, Barrhead, Glasgow.

Monday, another lovely day, blue skies and sunshine.

The "Dams" are about a mile from my house, man made about 60 years ago, there are the remains of a couple of houses and a bridge, that crossed the original stream that was dammed, under the water. The dams supply the water to the south side of Glasgow and the surrounding lands are under development as Pollok Country Park.

Last week I bought myself a fishing outfit, £19.99 from Argos, and this evening I went fishing, the first time for about 25 years.

It was not an entirely successful trip as the winding handle dropped off of the reel as I was casting and disappeared into the water, lost for ever, there is also a spinner out there in the weeds somewhere.

There is a fishing shop in Paisley, a couple of miles away, and tomorrow I will get a new handle for the reel, then I will go and try again.

The same dams, another day.

A Woman comes home and tells her husband,

"Remember those headaches I've been having

all these years? Well, they're gone."

"No more headaches?" the husband asks,

"What happened?"

His wife replies,

"Margie referred me to a hypnotist.

He told me to stand in front of a mirror,

stare at myself and repeat

'I do not have a headache; I do not have a headache,

I do not have a headache.'

It worked!

The headaches are all gone."

Well, that is wonderful."

His wife then says,

"You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years.

Why don't you go see the hypnotist and see

if he can do anything for that?"

The husband agrees to try it.

Following his appointment, the husband

comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up

his wife and carries her into the bedroom.

He puts her on the bed and says,

"Don't move, I'll be right back."

He goes into the bathroom and comes

back a few minutes later and jumps into bed

and makes passionate love to his wife like never before.

His wife says, "Boy, that was wonderful!"

The husband says,

"Don't move! I will be right back."

He goes back into the bathroom, comes back

and round two ! was eve n better than the first time.

The wife sits up and her head is spinning.

Her husband again says,

"Don't move, I'll be right back."

With that, he goes back in the bathroom.

This time, his wife quietly follows him and there,

in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying,

" She's not my wife.

She's not my wife.

She's not my wife!"