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courtroom quotes, (part two )

by joebangles @ 26/06/2007 - 20:50:28

( see part one posted earlier )

______________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August
8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh....
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a
deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you
performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school
did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was
doing an autopsy on him!
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh?
____________________________________________

And the best for last

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you
check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive
when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive,
nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive
and practicing law


 
 

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sallyontoursallyontour pro
26/06/07 @ 21:48

The last one is a blinder, having worked in law I can believe they are all true. As I always say, you can't legislate for common sense.

Oh, falling off chair...HLOL...the last one is ace!!! I'll print this out for hubby to take to work, they'll love it there if that's okay with you...big hugs

annbradleyannbradley [Member]
27/06/07 @ 00:11

I have seen this a while ago but it certainly bears another airing. I think they're all wonderful and that last one, priceless! Thanks for this! :D

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