Subject: FW: It had to be Glasgow. The terrorists attack on Glasgow airport is no laughing matter, but,

If this had happened in a US airport,compared to Glasgow
>
> Eyewitness accounts.
>
> America:"Oh my God! there was a man on fire,he was running about, i
just
> ran for my life..i thought i was gonna die,he got so close to me"
>
> Glasgow "C*nt wis running aboot on fire,so a ran up n gave him a good
> boot,then decked him"
>
> America:"I just wanna get home,away from here..i just wanna get home,i
> thought i was gonna die"
>
> Glasgow:"here shug,am no leaving here till am oan a f*ckin' plane!"
>
> America:"there was pandemonium,people were running in all
directions,we
> didn't know what was hapening,i thought i was gonna die"
>
> Glasgow:"F*ck this fir a kerry oan,moan we ll get a pint in"
>
> America:"We thought he was gonna blow us all up he had a gas
canister,and
> was trying to get into his trunk,i thought we were gonna die,i just
ran
> for my life"
>
> Glasgow:"a swaggered by the motor that wis on fire,and the dafty
couldnae
> even open his boot,he wis in fire annaw so a ran up n gave him a good
boot
> to the baws"
>
> America:there was this huge explosion,it sounded like war,i thought i
was
> gonna die"
>
> Glasgow:"There wis a bang,yi know when yi throw BO basher intae a fire
it
> wis like that"
>
> America:"i'm too traumatised even to speak,i thought i was gonna die"
>
> Glasgow "here mate,gies 2 minutes till a phone ma auld dear,if am
gonna be
> oan the telly a want her tae tape it"
>
> & finally, two quotes from an eye-witness.........john smeaton (these
are
> real)
> John just surpassed himself on the National ITV new. The interviewer
asked
> "What message do you have for the bombers" - he replied "This is
Glasgow
> we'll just set about you"
> John done an interview on cnn and they asked how he restrained the guy
and
> he said "me and other folk were just tryin 2 get the boot in and some
> other guy banjoed him" !

PrincessFiona [Member]
05/07/07 @ 10:48

Tut Tut!! Needy and greedy _ I need a boyfriend. I need sex and I need flowers

mkfunky [Member]
05/07/07 @ 16:02

that's me! darn! how must I be needy?

Here are some flowers, i out of 3 is not so bad.

I , the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

1. I do all the physical labour
2. I work in great depths
3. I plunge head first into everything I do
4. I do not get week ends or public holidays off
5. I work in a damp environment
6. I work in a dark area that has poor ventilation
7. I work in high temperatures
8. My work exposes me to diseases

Sincerely
The Penis

Dear Penis
After assessing your request, & considering the arguments you have raised, the management denies your request for the following reasons:

1. You do not work 8 hours straight
2. You work in short spurts & fall asleep after each brief work period
3. You do not always follow the orders of the management team
4. You do not stay in your designated area, & are often seen visiting other locations
5. You do not take the initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated
6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
7. You do not always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing
8. You will retire long before you a re 65
9. You are unable to work double shifts
10. You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task
11. You have constantly been seen entering & exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags

Sincerely , The Management

Sad news today of the death of George Melly.

My mind wandered back to the days of my youth, Worthing Assembly Hall, 1953, George, with the Mick Mulligan traditional jazz band, what a night, and these were the days of night time jazz on the beach.

A lot happened before I went to another of his concerts, my life actually, as it was in 2005 when my Lady Friend (Hazel ) and I travelled to Pitlochry where George was performing, O K. he sat down throughout his performance but held the "full house" with his songs and stories, signed a C D in the interval for Hazel and had time to tell us a story about someone that he knew in Liverpool called, "Aayzel".

I wasn't what you would call a regular at his concerts, but I think that he was a character, a one-of and we need these sorts to touch our lives.

You lived your life fully George, now, Rest in Peace.

SPAGHETTI......

A wealthy man had been having an affair with an Italian woman for several years, One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant.

Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.

She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.

To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for child support payments to begin.

One day, about 7 months later, he came home to his confused wife.

His wife said, "Honey, you received a very strange post card today."

"Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it," he said.

The wife handed him the card and watched as her husband read the card, turned white and collapsed.

On the card was written: Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without! Request bread...

True love doesn't
have a happy ending;
true love
doesn't have an ending.