I , the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
1. I do all the physical labour
2. I work in great depths
3. I plunge head first into everything I do
4. I do not get week ends or public holidays off
5. I work in a damp environment
6. I work in a dark area that has poor ventilation
7. I work in high temperatures
8. My work exposes me to diseases
Sincerely
The Penis
Dear Penis
After assessing your request, & considering the arguments you have raised, the management denies your request for the following reasons:
1. You do not work 8 hours straight
2. You work in short spurts & fall asleep after each brief work period
3. You do not always follow the orders of the management team
4. You do not stay in your designated area, & are often seen visiting other locations
5. You do not take the initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated
6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
7. You do not always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing
8. You will retire long before you a re 65
9. You are unable to work double shifts
10. You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task
11. You have constantly been seen entering & exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags
Sincerely , The Management
10/07/07 @ 20:23