>>>A very sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that
>>>she wants her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were
>>>loose and flapping.Out of embarrassment, she insisted that the
>>>surgery be kept a secret, and the surgeon agreed
>>>
>>>
>>>Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery, she found three roses carefully placed beside her on the bed.
>>>
>>>Outraged, she immediately calls in the doctor."I thought I
asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!"
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish
>>>for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him.
>>>
"I felt sad because you went through this all by yourself."
>>>
>>>The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and empathized because she had the same procedure done some time ago."
>>>
>>>
>>>"And what about the third rose?" she asked.
>>>
>>>
>>>"Oh, that rose is from a guy upstairs in the burn unit. He
>>>wanted to thank you for his new ears

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height.
Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them."

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening,
whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it's family, pets,
keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge .

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable,improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next
county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them , at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER :
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments
that take our breath away.

It's important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

My name is Bob. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Linda.

When I took "early retirement" last year, it became necessary for Linda to get a full-time job along with her part time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed.

Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf course about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club, so eating-out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door.

Linda used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for
better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch-it-out over two, or even three, days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half-finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly-squeezed lemonade, and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Linda. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact with and voice less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.

Signed, Bob

EDITOR'S NOTE: Bob Cira died suddenly on April 27th. The police report says that he was found with a Calloway extra-long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club rammed-up his ass, with only 2-inches of grip showing. His wife, Linda, was arrested and charged with murder.
However, the all-woman jury found her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that he'd accidentally "sat-down" on it.

I am very lucky, if I drive South, less than half an hour from my house by car and I am at the sea side, the Ayrshire coast. Less than one hour, if I go North and I am at the Gateway to the Highlands.

The weather has been so poor lately that my Lady Friend and I decided, regardless to the weather we would go out on Wednesday, and, take a picnic.

We drove North West the road to Loch Lomond until we heard the reference to the Scottish Golf Open at the Loch Lomond course, we quickly turned right and headed North to Aberfoyle, a small village under the shadow of The Trossachs.

"Views of Ben Lomond from Aberfoyle, a bustling village in rural west Stirlingshire, hint at the spectacular scenery to be found beyond, and at the Heart of Loch Lomond and The Trossachs National Park.

Along B829, a necklace of lochs, crystal clear rivers - this is the cradle of the River Forth, tumbling streams, verdant forests and windswept moorland offer a rich variety of habitats for a wealth flora and fauna."

From the website,http://www.visitaberfoyle.com/

The sun shone beautifully, life is good when the sun shines and you are with someone that you want to be with.

We also fed the wee birds.