Two Irish hunters got a pilot to fly them to Canada to hunt moose.

They bagged six. As they started loading the plane for the return trip,
the pilot said the plane could take only four moose. The two lads
objected strongly. "Last year we shot six, and the pilot let us put them
all on board; he had the same plane as yours."

Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded. However, even
with full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and went
down. A few moments after, climbing out of the wreckage, Paddy asked
Mick,

"Any idea where we are?"

"I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year."

With apologies to all Irish readers, it could just as easily have been Americans, Aussies, Scotsmen, Asians, Eskimos, etc, etc, etc, please just change as required.

From my e-mail inbox,

Messenger Yahoo! Lottery Results You won £820,000.00! Yahoo! Mail congratulates you!

Yahoo! Mail announce you as one of the 10 lucky winners in the ongoing Yahoo Lottery Draw held on the 25 of July, 2007.

All 10 winning email addresses were randomly selected from a batch of 50,000,000 international emails each from Canada , Australia , United States , Asia, Europe, Middle East, Africa and Oceania as part of our international promotions program which is conducted annually, consequently, you have been approved for a total pay out of £820,000.00 (EIGHT HUNDRED AND TWENTY THOUSAND GREAT BRITISH POUNDS STERLING ).
This Lottery was promoted and sponsored by a conglomerate of some
multinational companies as part of their social responsibility to the citizens in the communities where they have operational base. Further more your details(e-mail address) falls within our British representative office in United Kingdom , as indicated in your play coupon and your prize of £820,000.00 will be released to you through our corresponding assing payment bank been (First National Bank of South Africa) FNB.

HOW TO CLAIM YOUR PRIZE

These are your identification numbers.

Batch number.....................Lwh 09445
Lotto number.......................Lwh09446
Winning number...................Lwh09447

Contact Yahoos Agent for Notice of claims.

Contact Fiduciary Agent:

Mr Jerry Morgan

Emails: Jerrymorgan270@yahoo.com

Emails: Agent_jerry_morgan@mail2.jerry.com

Tel :+27 835 194 124

FaX:+27 86 660 0883

You are to send the completed verification form below to our Agent in the South Africa whose email address is given above so that you will be advised on what to do to claim your prize money through our corresponding payment bank (First National Bank of South Africa)FNB.

Congratulations once more!!

AWARD WINNING CERTIFICATE

This is to certify that:
FIRST NAME: ….................... MIDDLE NAME:…................
LAST NAME: …............................

DATE OF BIRTH............. MARITAL STATUS..................
OCCUPATION:……………………..
HOME ADDRESS............. .….….………..……………..…..……
STATE: …………………..
ZIP CODE:………… COUNTRY ……………
NATIONALITY :………………..
TELEPHONE.............................. FAX NR................................

Reference Number: ………………………………………………
Batch Number: ……………………………………………………..…….…….
Winning Numbers: ………………………………………………………..……
Beneficiary winning amount:……………..……….……………..……

DO YOU WANT TO BE PAID BY : BANK TRANSFER, CHEQUE, ON- LINE BANK TRANSFER ..........................................

BANK NAME..........................

BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER......................... SWIFT CODE ...............

BANK ADDRESS..............................................................

BANK TELEPHONE NUMBER.................................

FAX NUMBER............................................

A COPY OF YOUR PERSONAL PASSPORT

For security reasons, we advice all winners to keep this information confidential until your claim is processed and your prize released to you. This is part of our security protocol to avoid double claiming and unwarranted taking advantage of this program by non-selected winner or unofficial personnel

A man was in a long line at his local Tesco's store. As he got to
>>the
>> > checkout he realized he had forgotten to get condoms, so he asked
>>the
>> > checkout girl if she could have some brought up to the checkout.
>> >
>> > She asked, 'What size condoms?' The customer replied that he didn't
>>know.
>> > She asked him to drop his trousers. He did.
>> > She reached over the counter, grabbed hold of him and called over
>>the
>> > intercom, 'One box of large condoms, Till 5.'
>> >
>> > The next man in line thought this was interesting, and like most of
>>us,
>> > was up for a cheap thrill. When he got up to the checkout, he told
>>the
>> > checker that he too had forgotten to get condoms, and asked if she
>>could
>> > have some brought to the checkout for him.
>> >
>> > She asked him what size, and he stated that he didn't know.
>> > She asked him to drop his trousers. He did.
>> > She gave him a quick feel, picked up the intercom and said, 'One box
>>of
>> > medium-sized condoms, Till 5.'
>> >
>> > A few customers back was this teenage boy.
>> > He thought what he had seen was way too cool.
>> > He had never had any type of sexual contact with a female, so he
>>thought
>> > this was his chance.
>> >
>> > When he got to the till he told the checker he needed some condoms.
>> > She asked him what size and he said he didn't know.
>> > She asked him to drop his trousers and he did.
>> > She reached over the counter, gave him a quick squeeze then picked up
>>the
>> > intercom and said...
>> >
>> >
>> > you'll love this one...................
>> >
>> > ......
>> >
>> >
>> > .....
>> >
>> >
>> > .....
>> >
>> >
>> > ......
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > 'Mop and bucket, Till 5'