It's Me.

Okay, ladies, here's one you can all appreciate!

Ladies this has to be read, laughed at and passed on. There is not a

woman alive today who won't crack up over this!

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I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the
week.

Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's office to
tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am.
I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was
already around 8:45am. The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any time to spare.

As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene
when making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able to
make the full effort,
So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the washcloth that
was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in that
area to make sure I was at least presentable. I threw the washcloth
in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and
raced to my appointment.

I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called
in. Knowing the procedure, as I'm sure you do, I hopped up on the
table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that
I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away. I was a
little surprised when the doctor said, "My, we have made an extra
effort this morning, haven't we?" I didn't respond.

After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home. The
rest of the day was normal. Some shopping, cleaning and cooking.

After school when my six year old daughter was playing, she called
out from the bathroom, "Mommy, where's my washcloth?"
I told her to get another one from the cupboard.
She replied, "No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had
all my glitter and sparkles saved inside it."

Never going back to that doctor. Ever.

A modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing the Texas plains
without water.

His horse has already died of thirst. He's crawling through the sand,
certain that he has breathed his last breath, when all of a sudden he
sees an object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him.

He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers what
looks to be an old briefcase. He opens it and out pops a genie. But this
is no ordinary genie. She is wearing an FEMA (Federal Emergency Management
Agency) ID badge and a dull gray dress. There's a calculator in her
pocketbook. She has a pencil tucked
behind one ear.
"Well, cowboy," says the genie... "You know how I work....You have
three wishes."
"I'm not falling for this." said the cowboy... "I'm not going to trust a
FEMA genie."

"What do you have to lose? You've got no transportation, and it looks
like you're a goner anyway!"

The cowboy thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the genie is
right.
"OK! , I wish I were in a lush oasis with plenty of food and drink."
*POOF*

The cowboy finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen, and
he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.
"OK, cowpoke, what's your second wish."

"My second wish is that I was rich beyond my wildest dreams."

*POOF*
The cowboy finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare
gold coins and precious gems.

"OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good one!"

After thinking for a few minutes, the cowboy says... "I wish that no
matter where I go, beautiful women will want and need me."

*POOF*

He turned into a tampon.

The moral of the story: If the government offers you anything, there's
going to be a string attached.