Have you seen that lovely little advert on tele, for Anchor butter, I think.

The young man hands a buttercup to a young lady in a car, she in turn hands it to an older lady in a bus stop, who hands the buttercup to a young man getting on the bus, and he hands it to a young lady on the bus, it's lovely, all smiles and happiness.

Walking down to the shops today I thought, I'll try that.

The lady that was approaching me had a nice face, I bent down and plucked the plant from the grass verge, I thought for a moment that I could see the bright yellow petals reflected on her face, she smiled, and said, "Bugger off".

It may have been the fact that there are no buttercups around, I had to offer a dandelion.

*Once upon a time there lived a king. The King had a beautiful daughter,
the Princess.
But the kingdom was a sad place.
There was no laughter, and no joy.
The problem was, that everything the Princess touched would melt.
No matter what, metal, wood, plastic...anything she touched would melt!!
Because of this, men were afraid of her.
Nobody would dare marry her.
The king despaired.
What could he do to help his beautiful daughter?
He consulted his wizards and magicians.
One wizard told the king, "If your daughter touches one thing that does
not melt in her hands, she will be cured."
The King was overjoyed. The next day, he held a competition. Any man who
could bring his daughter an object that would not melt at her touch,
would marry her and inherit the King's wealth.
Three young princes took up the challenge.
The first Prince brought a very hard alloy of titanium.
When the Princess touched it, it melted... The Prince went away sadly.
The second Prince brought a huge diamond, thinking that diamond is the
hardest substance in the world and will not melt.
But, alas, once the Princess touched it, it melted. He too went away
disappointed.
The third Prince approached. He told the Princess, "Put your hand in my
pocket and feel what is in there."
The Princess did as she was told, though she turned red.
She felt something hard. She held it in her hand...and it did not melt!!
The King was overjoyed!
Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed!
And the third Prince married the Princess and the both lived happily
ever after.
The question is?!?!?!?
What WAS the object in the Prince's pocket???
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They were M&M's, of course. THEY melt in your MOUTH, NOT in your HAND!!
(What were YOU thinking?)*

Of course I trust the newspapers, but, if I had £1 million pounds invested I believe that I would do just a little more than write to the Sunday Express.