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Archives for: October 2007, 04

Mongolian VD. ( JOKE)

by joebangles @ 04/10/2007 - 23:45:24

Late night laugh, or, S'morning smile.

While in China , an American man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time. A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor.

The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results. The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says, "I've got bad news for you --- you've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it."

The man looks a little perplexed and says: "Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc."

The doctor answers: "I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis."

The man screams in horror, "Absolutely not! I want a second opinion."

The doctor replies: "Well, it's your choice. Go ahead if you want but surgery is your only choice."

The next day the man seeks out a Chinese doctor figuring that he'll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims: "Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vely rare disease."

The guy says to the doctor: "Yeah, yeah, I already know that but what can we do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis!"

The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs: "Stupid Amelican docta, always want to opelate. Make more money that way. No need to opelate!"

"Oh, Thank God!" the man replies.

"Yes," says the Chinese doctor, "You no worry! Wait two weeks. Faw off by itself."

P.S.
With apologies if I have offended any person.


 
 

BANNED from Disneyland. ( picture )

by joebangles @ 04/10/2007 - 16:41:41

I really can't understand why.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Dear Diary. ( humour )

by joebangles @ 04/10/2007 - 13:20:26

Subject: Cruise Diary

DEAR DIARY. DAY ONE

I'm all packed and ready to get on the cruise ship. I've packed all my pretty dresses and make-up. I'm really excited.

DEAR DIARY. DAY TWO

We spent the entire day at sea. It was beautiful and we saw some whales and dolphins. What a wonderful vacation this has started to be. I met the Captain today and he seems like a very nice man.

DEAR DIARY. DAY THREE

I spent some time in the pool today. I also did some shuffleboarding and hit some golf balls off the deck. The Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner. I felt honoured and we had a wonderful time. He is a very attractive and attentive gentleman.

DEAR DIARY. DAY FOUR

Went to the ship's casino. Did OK ... won about $80. The Captain invited me to have dinner with him in his state room. We had a luxurious meal complete with caviar and champagne. He asked me to stay the night but I declined. I told him there was no way I could sleep with someone I'd known such a short amount of time.

DEAR DIARY. DAY FIVE

Went back to the pool today and got a little sunburned. I decided to go to the piano bar and spend the rest of the day inside. The Captain saw me and bought me a couple of drinks. He really is a charming gentleman. Once more he asked me to visit him for the night and again but I declined He told me that if I didn't let him have his way with me he would sink the ship. I was appalled!

DEAR DIARY. DAY SIX

Saved 1600 lives today...

Twice...!!

A Special Day.

by joebangles @ 04/10/2007 - 00:03:57

It is now 10 seconds in to the 4th of October, here in Glasgow, today is special as it is, National Poetry Day.

I am expecting a plentiful amount of posting by my favorite poetess, La_Spice, http://mypoetry.blog.co.uk/ until the first post I will start the ball rolling with my favorite poem, regular readers of my blog will be aware of this from previous posting.

NELSON'S FAREWELL TO HIS GRANDMOTHER.
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"Bye-Bye Granny".