Subject: Glasgow Tony

The teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on Glasgow Tony.

He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."

The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."

Then Glasgow Tony says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

To which Glasgow Tony replied, "The correct answer is ' the one with the wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking."

Good night.

Actually, I have three of them, but this one is the youngest, it's Tony.

Tony builds cement mixers as his day job, in his spare time he builds motor cars and motor bikes, Tony is also a qualified spray painter.

Tony's wife, Susan has an old banger, a four wheel drive Toyota, silver in colour, well, that's the bits that you can see through the rust, "My husbands a spray painter" she says, "you would think that he could find time to re-spray his wifes car".

Tony eventually gave in and took the car to his workshop, three days later he brought it back, parked it in the drive, and handed Susan the keys.

She hurried out to look,
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