post previously on blog 4/4/07

Global warming started about 25 years ago. It was about that time that the Japanese introduced the little gadget that allowed us to change channels on our television sets without getting up from the armchair, actually, I had always had one, it was called "the wife".

Today, everything that you can think of is controlled by that little gadget, the hi-fi, venetian blinds, car door locks, interior lighting in posh houses, the gates to your house, and loads of other things. Yes, The Remote.

Now it's not generally realised that, after you have pointed that little gadget at your tele, it's not just one remote that comes out, it's thousands of them. Only one is required to carry out the action that you require, question, "Where do all the other remotes go too?".

I will tell you, they go up.

Right, the world population is about 6 billion, but, only about one quarter have remotes, the average total remotes for each owner is 4, so, 6 billion remotes. Average use per day?, say, 10 times, equals 60 billion remotes. ( At this point I have to admit that my figures for the next part of the equation are slightly guesswork ), unnecessarily expended "remotes" at each use, say, 1,000, daily total "remotes", ( maths are not my strong point, well, not as strong as my scientific skills ) say, 60 thousand billion, yep, daily.

These "remotes" have now formed a layer in the stratosphere (?), well, up there somewhere, and they are the reason for Global Warming. The layer is now so thick that the heat from the earth is unable to escape, it's common sense when you really think about it, and, we could eventually be in trouble when we next try to send a rocket up to the moon, or, mars, or, somewhere.

My next action, obviously for the good of the planet, is to get scientific proof, and I will employ a couple of fellows with some sort of letters after their name to prove this theory, and also, to prove my theory that, "if your paying for the research, you get the answers that you want".

Blair and Cameron, Greenpeace, all those that are making millions out of Global Warming will jump on my band-wagon, and I will be the "savior" of the world 'till the next theory comes along.

Please don't hesitate to contact me should you require any other scientific explanation.