This is so good. PLEASE share it with your friends,

http://users.telenet.be/leukelinks/flash/queen.htm

Mary had a little skirt

with splits right up the sides

and everywhere that Mary went

the boys could see her thighs.

Mary had another skirt

'twas split right up the front

...But she didn't wear that one often.

A 14 year old, back in the 1950s, would not have understood that rhyme,
A 13 year old, back in the 1960s, would not have understood that rhyme,
A 12 year old, back in the 1970s, would not have understood that rhyme,
A 10 year old, back in the 1990s, would not have understood that rhyme,
A 5 year old, in the 2000s could, sadly, fill in the missing word.!!!

Here are a couple more,

It's Raining, It's Pouring.

Oh shit, it's Global Warming.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Mary had a little lamb

it ran into a pylon.

10,000 volts went up its arse

and turned its wool to nylon.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Mary had a little lamb

her father shot it dead.

Now it goes to school with her

between two chunks of bread.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Jack and Jill

Went up the hill

He planned to do some kissing.

Jack made a pass

and grabbed her ass

Now two of his teeth are missing.

I am well aware that at times I am a little flippant. I like humour, especially if it is a little bit, um, um, um, shall we say, smutty, but at times, life is a lot more serious, and I have visited a website that may be of interest to some of my friends, or, to someone that they know.

The site, http://www.capcis.org.uk/cms/page.php?p=

CAPCIS is an internet information gateway which aims to provide an organised, easily-accessible and up-to-date directory of key services, service providers and appraised information on cancer and progressive, life-limiting conditions.

Information about cancers and listings of the local services and support available in the Argyll and Clyde area; also some national services.

Information about AIDS, chest, heart and stroke conditions, dementia, Huntington's Disease, Motor Neurone Disease, Multiple Sclerosis, Parkinson's Disease, Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease, Chronic Renal Failure and Muscular Dystrophy. Also listings of the local services and support available in the Argyll and Clyde area; also some national services.

Although the site is aimed at the Argyll and Clyde area the information that can be found could be really helpful to everyone.

The site is funded by the lottery, and,
NHS Highlands, http://www.nhshighland.scot.nhs.uk/Pages/welcome.aspx
NHS Greater Glasgow and Clyde, http://www.nhsgg.org.uk/content/

ALL CAR OWNERS AND CAR DRIVERS PLEASE READ

Be aware of new car-jacking scheme.

You walk across the car park, unlock your car and get

inside. Then you lock all your doors, start the engine

and shift or put into reverse. You look into the

rear-view mirror to back out of your parking space and

You notice a piece of paper stuck to the middle of the

rear window.

So, you shift the gear stick back into park or neutral,

unlock your doors and jump out of your car to remove that

paper or whatever it is that is obstructing your view.

When you reach the back of your car that is when the

car-jackers appear out of nowhere, jump into your car and

take off!!

Your engine was running, you would have left your purse

in the car and they practically mow you down as they

speed off in your car.

BE AWARE OF THIS NEW SCHEME THAT IS NOW BEING USED IN

GLASGOW AND MANCHESTER AND IS MAKING ITS WAY ACROSS THE

COUNTRY!!!!!!!!

Just drive away and remove the paper later! It is stuck

to your Window and be thankful that you read this email.

I hope you will forward this to friends and family

especially to women! A purse contains all identification,

and you certainly do NOT want someone getting your home

address. They already HAVE your keys!!!

JUST BE AWARE AND TAKE CARE IT WILL PROBABLY SOON ARRIVE

IN YOUR AREA

Brian Molloy

Detective Constable

Force Intelligence Bureau

Strathclyde Police

>
> On the way to the office this morning, I rear-ended a car.
>
> Somehow I knew it was going to be a bad day.
> The driver got out of the other car, and he was a dwarf,
> poor bastard.
>
> He looked at his dented car and then looked up at
> me and said, "I am not happy."
>
> I said, "Well, which one are you then?"