Deer Sir,
I waunt to apply for the secritary job what I saw in the paper. I can Type real quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting.

I think I am good on the phone and no I am a pepole person, Pepole really seam to respond to me well.

Im lookin for a Jobb as a secritary but it musent be to complicaited.

I no my spelling is not to good but find that I Offen can get a job thru my persinalety. My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am werth,

I can start imeditely. Thank you in advanse fore yore anser.

hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.

Sinseerly,

Peggy May Starlings

PS : Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a pickture of me taken at my last jobb.

Employer's response.....

Dear Peggy May,

It's OK honey, we've got spell check

"Keeping Pet Snails & Slugs - Snail & Slug Care, species, health ...Detailed information on all aspects of gastropods, particularly as pets. Various facilities for an active, cooperative community to participate in ...
http://www.petsnails.co.uk/ - 19k - Cached - Similar pages "

The words "Active" and "Snails" don't seem quite right together.

Just read that snails mate for up to 12 hours, but, only once in a lifetime. ( Mitchell Symonds "Did you know?" http://www.express.co.uk/

And I kill them with slug bait, I hope it's not before the big day comes around.