A 45 year old woman, Edna, had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table she had a near death experience.
Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."
Upon recovery, Edna decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck.
She even had someone come in and change her hair colour and brighten her teeth!
The full package and since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital but, while crossing the street on her way home,
she was run over by an ambulance and killed.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 43 years?
Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"

God replied: "F*** me Edna, I didn't recognise you !!"

Hiya friends, missed you all a lot, I tried to be too clever and messed up my computer, and then I tried to be cleverer and put it right, didn't work, it was the smoke coming out of the place that you put your floppy disc in, nasty.

Found a cracking new, to me, program, photo story 3 from windows,

http://www.microsoft.com/windowsxp/using/digitalphotography/photostory/default.mspx

Slide shows with your own titles, commentary and music, I don't know how it does it but if you "stitch" photos together it pans across the whole picture, it's magic.

Of course that was my problem as I then tried to download some files for burning to DVD and things started to go wrong because I was looking for something special that I didn't understand, but it's a great program and just needs the simple way of burning to disc.

Will now try catching up with posts, although I am away this weekend.

Anyway, here's a poem,

' WINTER '

a poem by Abigail Elizabeth McIntyre

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F**K ME
IT'S COLD!