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Marriage. ( humour )

by joebangles @ 14/02/2008 - 21:24:30

Marriage (Part I )

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady, and after the
wedding, he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want
and at what ever time I want --
and I don't expect any hassle from you.
I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I
won't be home for dinner.
I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing when I want with my
old buddies, and don't you give me a hard time about it.
Those are my rules. Any comments?"

His new bride said:
"No, that's fine with me.
Just understand that there will be sex
here at seven o'clock every night...
whether you're here or not."

(DARN SHE'S GOOD!)

************

Marriage (Part II)

Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding
anniversary!

The husband yells, "When you die,
I'm getting you a headstone that reads,
'Here Lies My Wife -- Cold As Ever'!"

"Yeah?" she replies.
"When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My
Husband -- Stiff At Last'!"

(HE ASKED FOR IT!)

*********

Marriage (Part III)

Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast
table.

Husband gets up in a rage and says,
"And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house..
After some time he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and
rings her up.

She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says,
"What took you so long to answer to the phone?"

She says, "I was in bed."
"In bed this early, doing what?"
"Getting a second opinion!"

(YEP, HE HAD THAT COMING, TOO!)


 
 

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:)) Three good ones, Trev...thanks...big hugs...

jackfrostjackfrost pro
15/02/08 @ 16:32

cheers for the smiles trevor:)

ranfuchsranfuchs pro
16/02/08 @ 01:17

Yes, some marriages were not made in heaven :)

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