The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, 'Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven.'

Arthur thought about it for a minute, then said, 'I want to hang out with God.'

St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room and introduced him to God.

God recognized Arthur and commented, 'Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley Davidson motorcycle?'

Arthur said, 'Yep, that's me.'

God said, 'Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?'

Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally he said, 'Excuse me, but aren't You the inventor of woman?'

God said, 'Yes.'

'Well,' said Arthur, 'professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in y our invention:

1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusions;

2. It chatters constantly at high speeds;

3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much;

4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust;

5 And the maintenance costs are enormous!'

'Hmmmmm, you have some good points there,' replied God, 'hold on.'

God went to His Celestial super computer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.

'Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed,' God said to Arthur, 'but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours.'

Gordon Brown, you are a loser, in two years or whenever you have to call a general election, your gone.

Oh what an opportunity you know have Gordon. Two years to change the face of British politics, grab this chance, the ride may be bumpy but it could also be a great ride.

Back to basics Gordon, clear the decks, get rid of those ad visors that you have, their advice has very obviously been useless, kick out the present cabinet who's only interest appears to be self interest and replace them with young energetic members that can grab their departments by the scruff of the neck and shake out all of the old dead wood, tell them what you want and leave them to get on with it, working in the interests of the majority of the electorate.

Be the figurehead Gordon, you are not happy or suitable for the lime light, you have a great deal of experience that you can offer to your new department heads. Guide them, hold their hand, oversee what they are doing, caution them when required, but let them get on with it.

Who knows what will happen, you still may lose the next election, no change there, but, well, just who knows.

After seven days that unknown bug that had made its home in my inside bits has, I think, been ejected, thrown out, or possibly, passed away.

Unknown bug, that worried me a bit, no, I lie, it worried me a lot. I have seen photographs of known bugs, they are pretty horrible, What must an unknown bug look like? Something even worse than the experts at Steven Spielberg's studio could dream up? So, today is house cleaning day. I have completed three hours with only two stops for a cup of tea and four smoke breaks, in my book I am doing OK.

The house, well the down stairs bit smells of bleach, disinfectant, polish and “Rug Patrol”, but mostly of “Rug Patrol”.

I am not actually sure just how long that product has been in the cupboard under the sink. It’s a tub/drum about 6 inches high with a plastic top that you can turn around that lets you sprinkle the powder over the carpet, whisk about over it and sorta work it lightly in to the carpet, leave for a while and vacuum up. Empty collected used powder, including all germs that once lived in the carpet, into a lead container and send to your nearest nuclear power station for disposal. ( Actually, I made that last bit up. )

The sprinkler bit of my tub/drum did not work very well for me, they kept clogging up. I am a man, I will not be beaten. I am a man, therefore, technically minded.

Take one fork from the kitchen drawer, bend up one tine, poke viciously at sprinkler holes, turn tub/drum upside down and shake vigorously, lid comes off, followed by entire contents, to form a neat pile in the centre of the carpet.

Do I panic? Of course not. Collect grass rake from shed, keep it in the closed position with the tines very close together, and rake powder over the carpet, job done.

The day has got better, Jersey plants catalogue arrived, that is http://www.jerseyplantsdirect.com ( I only do that in the hope of being sent some free plants but I don’t know why I bother because I mentioned Jaguar cars once and never received one ) I will order 70 Nicotiana Essence (for its scent )and 70 Wildflower Au Naturelle ( to encourage wildlife ) ( except for unknown bugs ).

Also discovered a cracker of a book, tell you about that later as I have to go and hoover up a carpet.

Before I go, the commercial announcement. To make it work there is a group blog that needs lots and lots on members, it needs you. Please consider joining http://www.blog.co.uk/group/askoranswer YOU may be able to help someone.Unknown bugs